im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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