I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
