epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
