A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
