Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
