she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
