who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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