Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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