dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
