Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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