my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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