I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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