Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
