how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
