...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
