she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
only if we run a train.
done.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
