I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
