Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
