I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
