Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
