sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
