my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize