I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
