It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
