he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
