we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
