You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
