just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
