Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
