So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
