Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
