Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
