Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
