I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
