420 ftw
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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