i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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