don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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