But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
