But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
