Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
