it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
