Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
