i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize