dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
