I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
