I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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