just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
