she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
