Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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