Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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